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Okay...let us trudge into the information around peri/menopause. It can feel so overwhelming and frankly a lot of rage can come up over how little information there has been for people for so long (thanks patriarchy!!). Let’s start exploring gently. This is a very individual process with lots of nuance and this is just a starting place. As always, I invite you to explore what works for you and trash any shame that says you have to do it like anyone else. Deep trust in the body I have spent the last two years in mentorship for supporting birth. It has been a beautiful deep dive into what it means to trust the body. My incredible mentor (Treeka of The ForRest) reminded me recently when I was talking about starting to dance into perimenopause, that this was also a time to have deep trust in the body. I am seeing so much information out there that really starts from this place of the body is failing in menopause and it is terrible and we have to do as much as possible to correct the problem. A process that happens for more the half the population (and in a few other mammal species that also have matriarchs in the social structure) is not a mistake to be corrected. There are deeply beautiful things that come out of this process too. I am in a privileged position because I get to see them! I see them firsthand in my practice. Watching the incredible empowerment, embodiment, and sexual freedom that can happen for those that have the needed supports in this time is awe inspiring. So let’s start from a place of deep trust in the body. I realized I didn’t need to go wild trying to correct this change I am walking into. That like birth, I could have deep trust in the body, and offer it comfort measures as we move through this transition. Rest Rest is already so much more important then most of us have been taught and during perimenopause/menopause it becomes even more important. Where in the past you may have been able to just push through, now you may find that rest is non-negotiable. Many of the symptoms that some people get during this time (they are not inevitable or meant to just be tolerated) are based on yin naturally starting to decrease during this time. Rest is a beautiful way to protect yin and support symptom relief. Passion and pleasure This is an incredible time to start really focusing on your own pleasure and passion. I would even posit that it is the whole reason for menopause. What brings you physical pleasure? What helps you feel connected spiritually? What are you still wanting to do with this one precious life? This is the pause to explore these questions. Yin nourishing foods As I said above, we want to support yin during this time. Yin nourishing foods to include are good quality meats (including organ if you can do it), fresh red berries and beets, black beans, molasses, eggs, good quality dairy, and seaweeds. For this, think deeply nourishing, iron rich, red or black in colour foods. If hot flashes are a big thing you can incorporate cooling foods as well: green tea, mint, watermelon, good quality dairy, and cucumber. Here you can think of foods that would feel good on a really hot day and avoid hot spices and warming things like cinnamon and ginger. Equally important: ensure you are eating enough!! Many cis women are simply not eating enough after a lifetime of diet culture. This is a deep transition time and requires adequate nourishment. Prioritizing sleep Yes I have sleep and rest in this list!! This is how important it is. Not only are all forms of rest important, but this is the time to prioritize sleep. How would your day look if your bedtime was non-negotiable? How would it go if each night you included a bed time routine that made you feel delicious and unwound? Sleep is so important right now. So before we reach for expensive supplements or exotic ingredients, I really encourage you to tend to this first. Enjoyed exercise Every single system of the body is improved and supported by movement. I really encourage you to pick things you really enjoy and not make this a shame based practice. How can you do things you love? How can you stack movement/exercise with time outside, time with community, or time listening to a great book? Building muscle is key during this time and so any weight resistance type training is a great addition. This can really help with muscle retention and injury prevention as we age. Remember thought that this isn’t about overdoing it or stressing the system doing things you hate. Comfort measures This is absolutely a beautiful and important transition that can be trusted. But that doesn’t mean you should just suffer if you do get symptoms. Just like with birth, comfort measures are really important. What would help? My mentor Treeka recommends herbal baths. You can simply make a very strong decoction (simmered herbs – like a very strong tea) and then strain this into to a nice hot bath. They are delicious – add a little essential oil to make it even more divine. Do you have a great body oil or lotion to massage gently and lovingly over your skin when you get out. Dry skin can be a symptom here, so incorporating this into your routine can be so comforting. There doesn’t have to be hierarchy or shaming here. If hormone replacement is for you then you can absolutely explore this with your doctor (or keep looking until you find someone who is knowledgeable about this – more and more menopause style clinics are opening). There are over the counter vulva moisturizers (they are distinct from lubricants) and they can be life changing for many people. Acupuncture and herbs can be beautiful supports. Would more community time, or nature time, or time screaming and beating a punching bag be helpful? These are your comfort measures, so I encourage you to throw out what it should look like and think about what you most want to feel comforted.
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I love all the contradictory people yelling sleep hygiene tips all over social media, but each of us is unique and there are a few distinct patterns that can be creating sleep issues.
Here are some ideas to explore. I gently invite you to experiment and see what works best for your own unique body and lifestyle. Blood nourishing foods One pattern can be blood deficiency. This usually looks like trouble falling asleep and can be accompanied by symptoms like anxiety, hair loss, dry eyes, blurry vision, and memory issues. Now this doesn’t mean there is literally not enough blood in your body. This is about nourishing the body when we are depleted. For blood nourishing foods think adding foods throughout the day that are deeply nourishing, iron rich, and red in colour. Foods like good quality meat if you eat it, red berries and fruits, molasses, and seaweed. Space for processing emotions So often difficulty sleeping can be connected to a nervous system that can not shift out of a sympathetic (fight or flight) state. Allowing space in your days for processing emotions and tending to the nervous system can be so helpful long term. This, of course, isn’t a quick fix and benefits from long term gentle tending without forcing This can look like journaling, meditating, and baths, but can also look like somatic work with a professional, strenuous exercise you enjoy, time in nature, acupuncture, and time in community. Nighttime routine I really invite you to play here. This whole sleep hygiene thing got really serious!! What feels good to you? What helps you feel like it is time to start winding down? For some people this might look like sleepy time tea and essential oils, but for others it might be something a little different each night with a similar intention. It also doesn’t have to be something that takes hours. It could be a 10 min dance around the bedroom. The invitation is to pick one or more things that help you feel pleasure and softening. Play with when/what you eat before bed We truly all have different needs here. Can you approach it with curiosity? How do you sleep if you stop eating a few hours before bed? How do you feel if you eat right before bed? Some people will not sleep well if they are even a little hungry at bedtime (most people actually!!) and some sleep better through the night if their digestion can take a little break. If you are someone who wakes around 1-3am and especially if you feel stressed or anxious when you do, eating a snack within an hour before bed with fat and protein might really help to keep your blood sugar stable through the night. Getting to bed and getting up at the same times We talk so much about “balanced hormones” and this can be very supported by balanced lifestyle practices. Going to bed and getting up around the same time allows the body to find a rhythm for many people. This isn’t always possible for everyone, or course, and some people may not have it as a possibility in some seasons. Stressing or shaming ourselves for not doing it isn’t helpful. Just a gentle effort to make it as close to around the same time can be very helpful. Dark cool room I love reflecting on how to make the environment and room itself more conducive to a delicious night. Can you make the room darker? This doesn’t have to be expensive. You can often use things you already have to accomplish this. Many people find a cooler room may be helpful to sleep, but what do you find? For me, plugging in my electric blanket while I brush my teeth and leaving the room itself cooler has been a game changer. Are there other things? Do you live somewhere dry? Would a humidifier help? Do you love smell? Would a diffuser feel good? Need background noise? Would an air filter, music, and or a fan make you more relaxed? This is an opportunity to really think about your own comfort and just have it built into the environment so that it takes less effort each evening. I hope you found even one little idea to try for your sleep. We all know how important it is, but approaching it from a place of enjoyment can start to unwind the stress and shame of not “getting it right” and allow us to find the things that actually support us. I have a confession.
I love morning routine videos and self help books. If there is anything claiming to have all manner of useful self care and nourishing habits then I am in! Recently I was watching a morning routine and she said the person’s morning routine she was trying was arguable the healthiest man alive. Oh now I am very in!!! So I popped over to his video and honestly I didn’t last 3 minutes. I marvelled at what we consider “healthiest.” Everything about him was being measured. He wore multiple devices, got on a scale first thing that read out several things, and is apparently being followed by some 30 physicians. There was no real foods; only powders. He went from one building to another to work out. He went to bed so early that even the most tame celebration with community would be missed. And it got me thinking about what we use to measure how healthy we are. What are the reliable metrics? Is it just numbers on a scale and a blood test? What if they were these:
Now these are all great and beautiful, but, there are also immediately some very irritating implications:
The great news is that we are in fact ecosystems, not merely responding to stimulus, but where all the beautiful parts are striving and collaborating to bring us to equilibrium and alignment. Even small gentle acts can have a huge positive effect. Nothing needs to be completely solved. Instead of berating ourselves to find the discipline to follow the exact formula all the time, we can cultivate the practice of being present with ourselves instead. We can gently access supports, connects, rituals, habits, etc as we are called to them and as we need them for our own unique needs. My wish for you is this more gentle sense of health – connected to all the rest of us. I recently did a post on Instagram about a more gentle approach to low libido and the response was so beautiful.
I am hearing from so many people that they are so worn out, resentful, exhausted, and overwhelmed that they don’t have any space for turn on. Worse then that, often there isn’t even energy to care about the fact that it is gone. And for a lot of us jumping straight from that exhausted to shouting p*$$y, doing self massage everyday and mirror gazing in a room full of people is way too big a jump (as amazing as those practices are). I deeply believe that everyone deserves to feel excited, turned on, and delicious; and to live without pain and numbness. We all need space to meet ourselves exactly where we are now and have steps and practices that feel right to us. So here are some much more gentle approaches to connecting to sexual vitality:
A really wonderful mentor replied to the post with an essential aspect of this: releasing the need for there to be a specific outcome. All three of these practices are beautiful and healing in their own right and really benefit from being done without any attachment to an outcome. If any of this resonates for you or you have any thoughts about these ideas, I would love to hear from you. I am really wanting to offer more supports in this area and would love to hear what you find lacking and wish existed. Each of the years I have done this challenge I have learned so much. I am so grateful to all of you who participated and shared your stories with me. While I learn a lot from my own practices, I truly feel that most of my learning comes more from all of you and your beautiful sharing.
A lot of us aren’t taking the time to ask ourselves what would be pleasurable I have been very heartbroken to learn how many people are largely living a pleasure starved life. Many people who participated found that even just starting to ask themselves what they wanted today was a deeply beautiful practice. It is just as much about what you don’t do as what you do do Even when approaching pleasure we have a tendency to be productivity focused, but one of the beautiful parts of pleasure is that it invites us to also look at rest, doing nothing, connection with others, etc. It can also invite us to look at things we aren’t doing that are causing obstacles to pleasure in our lives. For example having a lot of clutter or needing to move more to support feeling more delicious in our bodies. It brings up a lot for people Many people told me they were very interested, but felt most comfortable only watching (which is just as valid). It truly can bring up so many emotions from present pain to grief over years spent without pleasure to body shame. So much in the social media world throws us into the deep end around pleasure and we often need to move gently, slowly, at our own pace. Shame is perhaps the number one obstacle to pleasure This can be so many forms of shame: shame that we don’t deserve it, shame that we won’t be worth loving if we aren’t always pushing/striving/working, shame about what we want for our pleasure, shame about our bodies, etc. Pleasure is often the first thing to be sacrificed when we get busy Because most of us live in societies that don’t value pleasure we often feel it is only for when there is time and often sacrifice the thing we need most when we most need it. People still associate pleasure with being lazy, unproductive, even sexually deviant when the opposite is true It can be life changing to approach our goals and discipline from a place of pleasure. Ironically most people find they get more done even though they are less attached to that outcome and that wasn’t the goal Pleasure can encompass all areas of our lives Many of you talked to me about how so much around pleasure was only associated with sexuality. It can of course be an amazing portal to getting in touch with our own sexuality, but it is not just sexual. All areas of our lives can be nourished and energized by pleasure. That we need each other in community This one was a new one this year. I got to hear how the aspect of community can play such a profound role in encouraging us to explore pleasure and inspire us with ideas. Pleasure can truly be life changing and absolutely revolutionize every aspect of our being Each year it has been so delicious for me to hear about the ways that even gentle additions of pleasure have completely changed people’s lives. It is a big reason I like just sharing pleasure practice ideas and then those allow people the lived embodied experience of how life changing pleasure can be and guide people to their own knowing and wisdom. Pleasure is always worth it. I know most of us have been taught that it is frivolous or not needed, but in my and participants' experiences it is always worth it. It is worth the effort, the time, the presence. Pleasure is a reliable and beautiful guide I think many of us have also been taught that pleasure is not something we can follow, but truly tapping into our own pleasure actually allows us to be nourished enough to not need to chase false senses of pleasure like practices that harm us. The self knowledge and love that comes from pleasure helps us to see our own needs even more clearly and can give us the energy we need to fulfill them. A few ideas to explore for when you are feeling lost around your health or simply want to add some nourishment.
1. Choose pleasure Okay – we are starting here. Any of you who know me in real life or have followed anything I have put into the social media void, know that pleasure is the foundational concept in my life. Any time you are stuck, overwhelmed, devastated, sick, etc. can you come back to what would feel nice right now? It doesn’t have to be instagramable or even make sense to others. It most definitely doesn’t have to be a face mask or be cute. Maybe it is laying on the floor listening to heart wrenching music. Maybe it is screaming in your car or a field. Maybe it is wrapping yourself in a soft blanket with a hot water bottle. It really doesn’t matter how it looks – what would truly feel nice, comforting, pleasurable? 2. Invite joyful movement Somewhere along the way we became obsessed with exercise and forgot all about the infinite number of ways we can just move. In Traditional Chinese Medicine, movement has a strong connection with the wood element and the emotion we are experiencing with movement matters. If we move in a way that is intended to punish ourselves, we truly don’t receive all the benefits we could be (and in my not particularly humble opinion it can lead to higher risk of injury). In contrast, if we move in ways that feel delicious to us, enjoying where we are right now and listening to our bodies the list of benefits is incredible. 3. Rest without guilt This one is huge for many of us. We have been so taught that our worth is tied to our productivity that most of us stopped asking what we were being productive for. Rest is essential – for all things in nature it is essential. No part of it makes us less worthy or guilty of something terrible. If this one is especially hard for you, I really encourage you to move gently and start small. Can you take a 30 minute break to just do what feels restful for you? Can you extend that when you are ready to a couple of hours – and so forth. I love Arianna Huffington’s succinct way of framing this. If there was a pill that had as many amazing benefits as sleep and rest give us, we would all pay a fortune for it. 4. Take one tiny step A lot of taking care of ourselves is overwhelming. It can be so important to come back to simply what is possible. What is the next tiny action that is accessible? What could you actually do? Can you trust that if try that one small thing, that the next one would eventually show up? 5. Ask for help We were actually never intended to live as islands, completely self sufficient. I don’t know about you, but I am so tired of pretending I have it all figured out and that I am so strong I don’t need anyone else. This hasn’t ever brought me peace or happiness. Connecting with others and actually receiving has truly changed my life. 6. Listen to body cravings I can’t really stress this one enough. When you are lost, can you ask your body what sounds good? Maybe there isn’t an answer, but can you gently ask again the next time – and slowly, quietly can you start to discern the answer? 7. Eat intuitively I have radical trust in the body and the wisdom it has and I truly believe that there is no one right way to eat – each of us has radically different needs. What happens if you start to dance with your body’s knowledge of how you could eat. 8. Use ritual Can you invite the sacred into the everyday? Can you infuse your background, spirituality, believes, awe into the everyday activities of drinking coffee, brushing your teeth, going for a walk, going to sleep? I really invite you to just see these ideas as jumping off points; as ideas to play with and see how they feel for your body. Some may be beautiful and some may feel like they don’t feel right for you. Please adopt and reject as needed.
1. Pause and relax How could it feel to pause for a moment, breath, do any kind of enjoyable or mindful practice that helps you feel calm and relaxed before starting a meal? I really encourage gentleness here. If you had to eat quickly standing over the kitchen sink or your relationship with food is currently in a place where this is not possible, can you release any shame and just take one tiny step when it is comfortable? 2. Eat according to cravings The sheer number of ways to eat that are being promoted right now is......well honestly laughable. So many of them are so completely contradictory that often by the time I get to see someone in a session there is so much confusion and shame for not doing it “right.” Even working in this field, I often feel overwhelmed and like there is no way to easefully nourish myself. Any time you feel lost, can you come back to what am I craving? Does anything sound appealing – even just a little? Is there anything that when you think of eating it, feels good, vitalized, relaxed, etc. Maybe there is no answer, but just asking the question can be revolutionary. If there is an answer, is it possible to resist categorizing it in terms of “good” or “bad” and trust the body’s knowledge? 3. Chew excessively You can count, challenge yourself to chew as many times as possible, savour the pleasure/flavour/texture of what you are eating, or simply just allow a little extra time for chewing. The more you break up your food here, the more ready your body will be to digest and the less it will have to work at breaking down the food. 4. Enjoy thoroughly This one is ignored so often!! When was the last time you saw anything about enjoyment in a nutrition plan or a what I eat in a day video? Traditional Chinese Medicine has knows for hundreds of years that enjoying your food actually supports digestion, and gratefully Western Medicine is starting to see that too. 5. Incorporate warm cooked foods In the same way as chewing, eating cooked warm foods supports digestion by doing some of the work for it. In TCM the digestion is seen as a fire and so any effort to support that fire will support more thorough digestion. 6. Explore thermal properties Some of this is very intuitive: think of the foods you would want to eat on a very hot day. Things like mint, watermelon, cucumber, and dairy are all very cooling foods. If you were freezing, foods like stews/soups, meat, warming spices would perhaps be the more appealing. You can use this to support how you are feeling on any given day. If you are feeling fractious, irritated, overheated, burning heat in the stomach, you can balance that with cooling soothing foods. If you are feeling lethargic, cold, stiff you can support yourself with warming foods. 7.Play with variety and colour Exploring foods with play and curiosity rather than shame and guilt can be a game changer. Can you bring play to how many colours you can get in a meal? Can you enjoy exploring as much variety as possible – not from a place of should, but from a curiosity about what you enjoy? As always, if this leaves you with any questions, please feel free to contact me. I am always happy to geek out this stuff. “I didn’t know acupuncture could help with that!” is perhaps one of the most common things I hear from people in my life when I talk about my work. I realized being frustrated with people not understanding what I do was pretty useless and that it is really us as Acupuncturist that holds the responsibility to make sure people know what we can do.
So here you have it…… 7 things you didn’t (well probably didn’t…) know acupuncture could help with: 1. All things baby making You have probably heard acupuncture mentioned with infertility before – besides pain, it is probably the medical condition most associated with acupuncture. It is pretty amazing at helping both parents optimize their health to increase chances of pregnancy and to help optimize the health of the baby, but it can also help with morning sickness, breech presentation, induction, lactation and postpartum symptoms. 2. IBS and Digestion This is one of my favourite areas to work in. It is life changing when your whole world isn’t dominated by making accommodations for your digestion. When you can head out to have fun without worrying about where the bathrooms are or leave in the morning when you want rather than waiting to go to the washroom. 3. Sleep So many of you are coming in with this one and it affects all other aspects of your life. Traditional Chinese Medicine has diagnostics and even herbs to help people get back to great nights of sleep. 4. Mental Health With so few options sometimes to help address mental health symptoms, it feels wonderful to add another option to the list. I would say a significant portion of my practice is for things like stress, depression and anxiety. The results can be so wonderful! 5. Living life all lit up Hmm K this one might be a little harder to explain. I found with my own acupuncture treatments and with patients I get to work with that sometimes people slough off old patterns and start making really amazing changes in their lives. Sometimes people get clear on what they want or leave a less than an amazing relationship, or finally apply for that thing they have been thinking about for years. It is really inspiring!! 6. Hemorrhoids Don’t freak out on this one!! The needles don’t go anywhere near the anus or the hemorrhoids!! Acupuncture as a system can use other points along the meridian or on a partner meridian to treat conditions. Very handy for conditions that happen in areas that are more private/uncomfortable. Often people think that acupuncture can’t work on organic issues like this or say something like ovarian cysts, but it is based on working at the root cause of an issue and can actually be very helpful. 7. Skin Conditions There is actually a whole subset of acupuncture that is cosmetic and used to treat things like acne and reduce wrinkles. It can also be used for skin problems like eczema, fever rashes, cold sores, etc. It is a great way to use a natural remedy and can actually work surprisingly fast. Well, let me know if I surprised you with any of these or if it left you with any questions. PS: One way to measure is this: if it isn’t an emergency (ie: requiring an emergency room and/or surgery) then acupuncture could be used as a support The pictures of the whole week’s meals all stacked in matching containers is just so appealing. I don’t know about you, but all of my containers don’t match and every time I have tried to do this style of food prep I resent the 4-5 hours it takes. Then I have food I worked really hard on going off before I get to it.
I love the benefits of food prep – it really does make the week go more smoothly and you can use it as a tool to get in more nutrient density, waste less food, and save money. My style has really changed though and I stopped following the model that every meal for the whole week has to be made in one stretch (I still watch the videos though – they are very satisfying and they do give me good ideas!) Now I use more of a capsule style with my nutrition (think capsule wardrobe – key good quality pieces that can all be used interchangeably together). My current capsule looks like this: 1) Vegetables
So now for execution, all I have to do is make sure I always have a few things from each category in my fridge at all times. I generally spend a couple of small (like an hour or less) times each week preparing a couple of items that fit in one or more categories. Some examples:
If the week is busier and I don’t have the time for any prep, I can just grab some frozen vegetables (so underutilized – basically cheap, nutrient dense, pre-prepared vegetables!) and pre-made ferments from the store or farmers’ market. Grocery shopping is much easier too. I just need to buy a couple of things for each category. I can plan it all out if that feels fun or I can literally just get stuff for each category and know that it will all go together. I think every style of food preparation (or lack thereof) is great. Be sure to do what works for you! I just see a lot of people struggling to do food prep and to eat the way they really want to be eating. If this is you, I gently invite you to not worry about making the prep look magazine worthy and just focus on what works for you. It may be as simple as these few things are my capsule. Does this leave you with any questions or any areas you would like me to write future blogs about? Please let me know in the comments! Gut health information is everywhere right now!! The information isn’t always easy to go through, but the benefits of investing in gut health basically cover all aspects of life! If you digest well your physical, mental and emotional health can all benefit. So here are 5 ideas to improve your gut health.
As with all of my recommendations, always follow your own body and what feels best for you. Please see these as areas to explore rather then static must-dos. 1. Eating in a relaxed way We, myself included, often like to jump to the quick fix pill/supplement, but please don’t underestimate the power of eating in a joyful and relaxed way. Being relaxed when we eat means that we are in the parasympathetic system – or “rest and digest.” A few practices to try:
Fibre can bring up a lot of meanings for people, but it can be absolutely amazing for a lot of us. Generally, most of us are not getting enough, so you can increase your intake with fibre rich fruits and vegetables or by even taking psyllium husk or inulin. Tread gently with fibre if you find it causes you issues. Move up very slowly or seek treatment with trusted practitioners (for example Acupuncture/TCM and Dietician/Holistic Nutrition Consultant) if that isn’t working. People on low FODMAP diets may wish to stick to sources that fit the diet until after they are finished and are feeling better. 3. Fermented Foods No list for gut health would be complete without fermented foods. You can certainly use probiotic pills, but my own bias is generally to traditional ways of eating and I believe we are only starting to scratch the surface on all the health benefits of getting probiotics from whole food sources. There are so many different types of fermented foods to make or buy, that most people can find ones they actually enjoy. Some examples:
4. Prebiotic Foods Hand in hand with ferments is eating prebiotic foods that contain types of fibre that help nourish the gut microbiome. Some examples:
5. Listening to Your Body I can’t emphasize this one enough. Listen to your body – do some of these foods make you feel worse? Are there foods that cause you bloating, problematic bowel movements or sore joints? Continue/consider avoiding or reducing those foods to help support gut health. Do you have certain cravings? How do you feel after following them? Do you eat until you are satisfied? Listening to your specific body will always be the best support for healing. |
AuthorErin is a Doctor of Acupuncture practicing in Calgary, Alberta. Archives
October 2024
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